Waaaaa - Mooooo
Alan Fishman was the CEO of Washington Mutual (my bank, Kevin’s bank, lots of folks’ bank) for 17 days. He is now eligible to receive $19.1 million dollars. For working 17 days! That includes a severance package of $11.6 million, plus he may keep his $7.5 million signing bonus. Did I mention that’s for 17 days of work?!
Yesterday, after being technically unemployed for a month, I applied to Starbuck’s, a transcription company, an insurance company, two colleges, two marketing jobs, and mailed out a query letter to a lit agent.
As of yesterday, my WaMu checking account was overdrawn by $22.63 because I used my debit card when I really shouldn’t have. What did I splurge on? Did I go nutty cuckoo, filling up on bon-bons? No, silly. I went to FedEx Office (don’t even get me started on that) and took an hour-long online assessment exam (for that insurance company gig) and faxed a 10-page application (to that transcription job). Crazy me. Spending all willy-nilly in these hard times.
I didn’t go to a party last night for a fellow Chicago, Black, female sketch comedy artist who is in town. There are… like… five of us, by the way. And I didn’t go to her gathering. Why not? Because if I could’ve convinced my car to magically transport me there on fumes alone, I wouldn’t have had money to buy a single drink or plate-o-wings. Asking, “How much for one wing?” isn’t all that funny when you’re earnestly inquiring.
But today is a new day, right? Today I’ll make $60 for driving 66.3 miles to pick up some petite lamb chops. $20 of the $60 I make today will go into my empty-ass gas tank — leaving me with a whopping $40. Gee, what on earth will I do with all that fat cash? I’m flush.
I should ask Al Fishman what he’s going to be doing with his money. Maybe we can go in on something together.
- Inda
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